A woman on Reddit is trying to figure out how to confront her boyfriend of nearly a year about his need to run to his mom every time they have a personal argument, especially because they plan to move in together next year.
"Whenever he and I disagree or argue, we are able to resolve it quickly and without drama or residue hurt feelings. We have one or two minor disagreements a month. However, he tells his mom about every argument that we have," she explained.
"Based off of what he tells me, my boyfriend shares our arguments with his mom to get her advice and to also (maybe) justify his point of view in the argument," the woman continued on Reddit.
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Her boyfriend's lack of discretion has left her feeling "very uncomfortable."
"I do not want him sharing our arguments with his mom because I think it will only lead to her viewing me in a negative way. I really like his mom and I do not want her to feel negatively about me and I do not want any relationship between her and myself to suffer," she shared.
When the woman's boyfriend asked her if she tells her own family about their disagreements, she told him she keeps their personal arguments private and just between them. "He praises me for this and says that I’m doing the right thing by not sharing," she concluded.
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Users in the comments section suggested the woman's relationship with her boyfriend's mother is likely already damaged due to his indiscretion.
"By now his mother probably hates you because she’s only getting his side of the story. This behavior has to stop or else your relationship will never be good," one person wrote.
"He gets it and even expressed that he understands why you don't want him sharing with his mom. It's just that his actions aren't impacting him, only you, so why should he care? It's a selfish mindset. Of course we need guidance from people in our lives but if you have such poor conflict resolution that you need to run to mom for EVERY fight, that's not cool or healthy. He needs to grow up, this would be a boundary for me," another chimed in.
"If you've already told him to not do that and he keeps doing it, what makes you think we can tell you anything different? Chalk this up to incompatible standards and move on," someone else weighed in.
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